The Bad Parent Trap

on Wednesday, 05 May 2010. Posted in Parenting

guilt-man-womanFirst allow me start by saying I feel that guilt is a useless emotion.  It zaps energy and sucks the life out of an already over-burdened soul.  This in turn causes self-doubt, more stress, less calm and a decreased ability to think situations through making it very difficult to strategize and come up with better solutions for the problem that caused the guilt to begin with.   Wash, rinse, repeat …until the good parent doesn’t know which end is up = parental paralysis.  This self-perpetuating down-ward spiral cycle will cause chaos in what should be an otherwise happy family; frazzled maybe but definitely happy.

Why then do so many good parents seem to feel unable to combat powerful urges to beat themselves up when their children aren’t behaving in ways that they (or society) deem proper or acceptable?  I am not talking about murder.  I am talking about your garden variety naughty and disobedient, the stuff that every single parent’s child does at one point or another, the only difference being degrees or subtle variations.  I don’t think there is a single good parent alive that enjoys watching their children falter, struggle and stumble.  But to expend so much energy feeling badly taking our children’s behavior so personally that our bodies are racked with debilitating anxiety is very counterproductive.  These feelings don’t help the parent as a human being, disciplinarian or role model and it certainly doesn’t help the child (who is watching that parent’s every move) to change any behaviors that their parents view as being negative.

The Bad Parent Trap

on Wednesday, 05 May 2010. Posted in Parenting

guilt-man-womanFirst allow me start by saying I feel that guilt is a useless emotion.  It zaps energy and sucks the life out of an already over-burdened soul.  This in turn causes self-doubt, more stress, less calm and a decreased ability to think situations through making it very difficult to strategize and come up with better solutions for the problem that caused the guilt to begin with.   Wash, rinse, repeat …until the good parent doesn’t know which end is up = parental paralysis.  This self-perpetuating down-ward spiral cycle will cause chaos in what should be an otherwise happy family; frazzled maybe but definitely happy.

Why then do so many good parents seem to feel unable to combat powerful urges to beat themselves up when their children aren’t behaving in ways that they (or society) deem proper or acceptable?  I am not talking about murder.  I am talking about your garden variety naughty and disobedient, the stuff that every single parent’s child does at one point or another, the only difference being degrees or subtle variations.  I don’t think there is a single good parent alive that enjoys watching their children falter, struggle and stumble.  But to expend so much energy feeling badly taking our children’s behavior so personally that our bodies are racked with debilitating anxiety is very counterproductive.  These feelings don’t help the parent as a human being, disciplinarian or role model and it certainly doesn’t help the child (who is watching that parent’s every move) to change any behaviors that their parents view as being negative.

A life for a life: Devil Mom Debra Jeter Sentenced

on Friday, 28 May 2010. Posted in Parenting FTL

Debra_Jeter
Debra Jeter AP Photo
HILLSBORO, TX -- Debra Jeter, convicted for a brutal act she committed June 5th, 2009, will receive life in prison for slaughtering her youngest daughter and attempting to murder her oldest. On Tuesday, May 25th, 2010, Debra

Per the plea agreement, Jeter pleaded guilty to a life sentence on the attempted capital murder charge and life without parole on the capital murder charge. Debra told her lawyer, "the most compassionate thing she could do for her surviving daughter would be to plead guilty."

All murders are chilling, but what Debra Jeter purportrated that day almost a year ago was simply evil. The two girls were greeted by their mother that fateful afternoon as she asked, "Wanna have some fun?" Luring her girls, Kiersten (13) and Kelsey (12), by telling them she had a surprise for them, Debra picked them up from her estranged husband, Lee Jeter. Her daughters were prepared to spend the weekend with mom. She told them they would be singing American Idol songs and reading books together...

A life for a life: Devil Mom Debra Jeter Sentenced

on Friday, 28 May 2010. Posted in Parenting FTL

Debra_Jeter
Debra Jeter AP Photo
HILLSBORO, TX -- Debra Jeter, convicted for a brutal act she committed June 5th, 2009, will receive life in prison for slaughtering her youngest daughter and attempting to murder her oldest. On Tuesday, May 25th, 2010, Debra

Per the plea agreement, Jeter pleaded guilty to a life sentence on the attempted capital murder charge and life without parole on the capital murder charge. Debra told her lawyer, "the most compassionate thing she could do for her surviving daughter would be to plead guilty."

All murders are chilling, but what Debra Jeter purportrated that day almost a year ago was simply evil. The two girls were greeted by their mother that fateful afternoon as she asked, "Wanna have some fun?" Luring her girls, Kiersten (13) and Kelsey (12), by telling them she had a surprise for them, Debra picked them up from her estranged husband, Lee Jeter. Her daughters were prepared to spend the weekend with mom. She told them they would be singing American Idol songs and reading books together...

A Simpler Time. A Simpler Place. A Simpler World.

on Monday, 03 May 2010. Posted in News

timessquarescareA man parked a truck with Connecticut license plates at a busy intersection in Times Square. The truck was packed with explosives which could have injured or killed hundreds of people if not for observant and action-oriented street vendors. This man, based on videotaped evidence, is a white male in his 40’s. The man captured on tape, if indeed he is the terrorist, appears to be homegrown (such as the likes of Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, and Eric Rudolph).

Our nation isn’t perfect, yet it remains the best in the world. We provide liberties both good and bad, yet freedom nonetheless. What is it that makes American citizens like those named above want to wreak havoc on innocent people such as those of you reading this blog? What do these people hope to gain by taking away someone’s father or mother, sister or brother, husband, wife, or friend?

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