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Are you sexy? Do you want your spouse to think you are? Read on…
I proposed the question, “What can husbands do to be sexier?” the other day to my good friend Twitter. Before I knew it, I was bombarded with responses from my tweeps. Anne Marie Busch, author of New Beginnings, simply replied saying, “shower.” Most of the initial responses I got were funny jabs from wives at their significant others or goofy answers like Stephanie Elliot had:
@Joeprah Throw money at me during sex?
@Joeprah Do Laundry and dishes in the nude?
Eventually though the responses got more to the point. Stephanie, author of the blog Manic Mommy, said, “Put the kids to bed then bring me a glass of wine…,” followed by, “Really sexy if I were to come upstairs and find the bed MADE without me having to do it! That would get my motor running!”
Her real point was that a dad being a good dad is something that women find sexy. As far as I can tell, this is the ultimate win-win-win situation. First, the kids are getting more attention from their dad which has been proven to be very important to the development of children. The kids get to see their dad taking on the chores. This lets the kids know that chores don’t have any gender attached to them which sends a powerful message. Finally, mom gets a break and dad has a better shot of spending quality time with the little lady later on. Does it get any better than that?
Want more proof? The responses didn’t stop there.
Cmason0708 chimed in and had some great insight. She added, “…when he cleans the house…seeing him work hard, like our house, yard, car, I think it’s the sweating ha!” GeekMomMashup replied saying, “…this sounds silly but helping with housework! Not that laundry is sexy per se but the fact that he does it makes me feel loved!” Another mom said, “…doing something to make my day easier without being asked or even mentioning it.”
It sounds like when men act like men and step up around the house they stand a much greater chance of getting lucky. WeaselMomma, you may have heard of her, summed it up nicely saying, “Treating me like I am the sexiest woman, most giving wife & devoted mother on earth, even when it's not true. That's sexy.”
Being a loving, supportive husband is sexy guys. That may not be news to a most of the dads that are members here, so I also compiled a list of the other things twitter moms were saying that were turn-ons.
- cmason0708 - Sexy boxers/undies! When he's dressed for church, makes me go crazy!
- Thecookiemama - My opinion. Talk. The voice of my husband is one of the sexiest things I know.
- KitiaraTomsen - take care of yourself healthwise
- AmyKuk - Smelly Sauce...as we call it in the Kuk house. I love it when my man smells good!
So, there you have it. There are no secrets to being sexy fellas. All we have to do is take care of business. Be a good dad. Be a good husband. Stay active. Stay involved.
I do have a couple follow up questions though. Moms, was there anything else we missed? Dads, do you find these observations to be universal? Finally, dads--proclaim your sexiness. For instance leave a comment saying: “I’m sexy because I mop the floor.” Let the world know why you’re sexy.
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written by mytwodaddies, December 15, 2009
Take care
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written by eyesofbabes, December 15, 2009
@Daddyfiles - You are right, it neeeds to be a two way street. I often get frustrated because my wife knows I will want to do it whether she sexies up or not and so she doesn't bother. I too, really need to work on the one thing that my wife will find sexy, really listening to her and not getting distracted when she is talking.
But, I think I need to cut back on the chores. I do so many that wife doesn't find it a novelty and so, it isn't sexy.
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written by ciara, December 15, 2009
i'm fat, husband still thinks i'm sexy. whatever lol sometimes instead of honey, he'll say 'what ya doing, pretty?'
oh yeah, if a guy keeps his feet decent would be good. i hate feet. so women, ya gotta keep your feet decent, too. men, no long nails. ewwww. sure to turn me off an in instant besides giving me scratches in places i don't need to be scratched. haha
hey @mtd do you think that's secretly a pic of joeprah sans shirt? glad to c u bk :0)
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written by White Bullie, December 15, 2009
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written by eyesofbabes, December 16, 2009
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written by eyesofbabes, December 16, 2009
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written by Travis, December 17, 2009
I'm hearing two polar opposites. One, the guy needs to put forth effort into getting time with his wife. And second, Guys who put in the effort to address the logistics of life, weren't getting the attention expected.
There is a happy middle, with a bit of practice, you can clean, sweat a little, work hard, and show your wife attention along with it and you have yourself a win-win-win-win solution. (See the extra win, that's where everyone is happy)
Whenever you do anything with the expectation of receiving something, your missing the point.
The biggest turn-on I have ever witnessed was when I was doing the kitchen, she was all busy on the computer. I was just working away. I had taken care of all the kids, and she didn't even notice.
But then, she walked into the kitchen and sat down at the counter. Just watching me. I spent a good hour making everything shine. She said, "You know you don't have to do that."
"I know, but I want too, and I can see how it helps you."
And, then her face softened, and about 5 minutes later she came up to me, and I held her and we slow danced in the kitchen... Nothing more for the night.
And then, a couple of days later, I was cleaning again. And she came in, because she could here me. Now the previous night was still on her mind. She put her arms around me and gave me a kiss. I just held her for a minute. And then, after all the work. I turned the rest of the evening into a mini-date, where we sat and enjoyed each others company for the next hour. Night resolved itself.
It's all about the delivery. And, yes someone has to the start it, and it might as well be us.
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written by Daddy Files, December 17, 2009
I take care of my kid, do my fair share of house work, etc because that's my job as a husband and father. I do it because I want to set a good example and take care of my son and my wife. Those things are just in the job description and if you're shirking those, then you're not doing your job.
However, there are times when I'll go the extra mile. Surprise her with a sparkling clean house. Mop the floors, clean the bathroom, cook her an extra special dinner, light some candles and really pull out all the stops. Am I expecting something in return on those occasions?
You bet your ass I am.
I know some of you won't admit as much, but at least I'm honest. No one likes cleaning a bathroom or scrubbing counters or mopping floors. I don't know anyone who considers that stuff a fun little hobby. But I do it because 1) it makes her happy and 2) Because I'm trying to get her in the mood. After all, it's a well known fact that when things are clicking in the romance department everything else tends to follow suit. So since a healthy sex life is important, all I'm really doing is trying to better my marriage.
My original point was there's something of a double standard because many women DEFINITELY use household chores, home repairs, etc as a reward system when it comes to sex. It's made abundantly clear that if we do A, B, and C we stand a much better chance of getting S-E-X. Yet women don't have to work for sex. We're ready to go at any time, and they know this.
And honestly I don't expect things to change, that's just how it is. But I wanted to point out the hypocrisy.
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written by Joeprah, December 17, 2009
@ Travis - Thanks for the input, I was beginning to wonder if I was on my own on this one.
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written by Daddy Files, December 17, 2009
It sounds like when men act like men and step up around the house they stand a much greater chance of getting lucky.
Let me ask you an honest question. Do you really think you could get away with writing "It sounds like when a woman acts like a woman and steps up around the house they stand a much greater chance of getting lucky?" You would be lambasted for writing that. You'd be called a sexist pig for writing that. Yet it's perfectly fine to say it about men?
It's a double standard. And that's fine, I employ lots of unfair double standards in my own life. But at least I recognize them as such.
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written by Joeprah, December 17, 2009
So, yeah--us guys have it tough in some departments, but there's a ton that we don't even think about that is unfair and a double standard that women have to deal with too. So, accepting our fate in this situation may be the wiser move than to rebel against it in my mind.
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written by Daddy Files, December 17, 2009
If I live through it, I'll report my findings in full.
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written by PC NenaX, December 27, 2009
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written by SurprisedMom, December 27, 2009
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written by BellaDaddy, January 29, 2010
I am mentally sexy, well just because, I am.
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There seems to be an expectation that if men want sex from their wives they need to work for it. To earn it. But if a woman wants to have sex with her husband, all she has to do is inform him of her intentions and that's that.
But if the parental duties are consistently split 50/50, I think the woman should have to put forth some effort. How about wearing the lacy outfit instead of the flannel PJs once in a while? What if she puts the kids to bed and allows us to watch 30 minutes of SportsCenter uninterrupted? And while women can get away with saying "It's sexy if my guy takes care of himself health-wise" (which is slang for "lose some weight fatty"), if a guy actually suggested this to his wife there would be nuclear warfare.
I think it's gotta be a two way street.