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I've got Metallica pounding my gray matter like a Japanese Drum while I write this so you will have to excuse me if I get a little rowdy. I've even pulled out "air" drumsticks. ("Air 'Sticks" are what we used before Rock Band, the game.)
That's right… I'm jammin' OLD SCHOOL this morning! Neil Peart don't got NUTHIN' on me when I pull the air 'sticks out! (I'm spinning a drumstick above my head with one hand while I type this…) Quick! Somebody grab their air guitar!
Seriously... well, not so serious, I guess... I'm in a mood.
Might as well take some Reader Mail…
"Spud-nuggets!
Dude! Ragin' Blogggg!
You made the suggestion that you may go "commando" on occasion. I am in college here in (State Name Witheld) and I am on the swim team. I am considering making the lifestyle switch to "commando".
Do you have any suggestions or tips?
Most Respectfully,
Jorges (Disciple of Spuds)
J,
Did you know your name means lots of Georges? Odd... First suggestion, maybe we can find a better nickname for you... because you can't be in the congregation with a name like Georges (plural form).
I hereby dub you, "Bones"! Don't ask me why... it's just what has been decided.
Now, your question.... Going Commando!
First of all, I have yet to confirm my "commando" status. And, surprisingly enough, that is the first rule of Commando... "Never Divulge". There are a number of reasons for this rule, but most importantly it will leave those who would look for and notice such things a sense of mystery. The local Betty will catch herself not only looking but making it a subject of study, "Is he not wearing underwear???" Then she will call her friend over, "Amy, do you think "Bones" is wearing any underwear???" See… that’s good mystery!
But here's the second rule, HYGIENE! And while this may be rule number two it is actually the most important rule. Because when the ladies are studying your "assets", we don't want the mystery to involve a sense of revulsion at the thought that "Bones" may be going sans briefs. You will want their investigations to be grounded in a natural DESIRE to find out if there are briefs or not.
For some men this idea of hygiene is as foreign as a plate of steak tartare. And to be honest this is the area where 98% of the men lose their "permission slip" for their commando run.
A quick way to find out if you are "able" to give your "men" a fieldtrip is to do a cursory inspection of your laundry. (Women, turn your head here.) Find the last three pairs of tighty whiteys you’ve shoved under your bed and just take a quick look-see.... see that brown spot? Yeah, you need to keep as many layers as you can between us and your ass!
For the love of Heaven do NOT go commando! Your jeans, your roommates, and the person who has to sit in the seat after you all thank you! In fact, depending on the "tint" of said "brown spot" you may want to consider a Water Pick, or maybe even some baby wipes.
I really don't recommend commando as a lifestyle choice unless you are ready to FULLY commit to the parameters of keeping your ass clean. (Wow. That sounded a little awkward.)
On that note, and afer a quick Air Drum Solo, I release you into the world as "Bones". Go forth and take care of the smaller of us, and always "Take it EASY".
"Spuds"
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written by BellaDaddy, February 01, 2010
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written by peteej, February 01, 2010
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written by Spuds, February 01, 2010
Bwah Ha-Ha!!! BD, You kill me with your comments!
And I agree! Wearing shorts can let some loose ends become exposed and thus need for discretion is essential.
RUSH RULES!!!! (That's all I have to say about that!)
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written by ciara, February 02, 2010
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written by BellaDaddy, February 02, 2010
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