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My dad worked a lot of swing shift when I was growing up. What did that mean for us as a family? There were times when we had to be really quiet during the day so he could get his sleep. There were times when he was grouchy because of the toll the hours took on his system.
Those details were just minor players in the bigger picture of what swing shift meant. Swing shift meant that my dad was home during the prime playtime hours of the day.
I remember my dad teaching my brother and I how to play Wiffleball in the cul-de-sac where we grew up. My dad was a teacher and mediator for all the neighborhood kids. In that paved field of dreams, my dad taught us more than how to play a game; he taught us how to get excited about life in general. My dad would jump up and down when anyone got a hit. He would razz us when we struck out, and he was always patient enough to give the younger kids four, five, and even six strikes.
Manhole covers and mailboxes served as bases. The curb at the far end of the court was the fence and an automatic homerun. We were using our imaginations to create our own make-believe stadium, and it was all because of my dad.
My dad was laying the foundation for who I was to become. With each witty jibe and each word of encouragement, my dad was equipping me with all the necessary tools to mentor my friends and, eventually, my children. It wasn’t always Wiffleball; my dad taught us football, baseball and, especially, Ping-Pong. Most of all, my dad taught me social graces and how to interact with people through humor and humility.
I think it’s important to respect our kids enough to teach them at their level—through play. Passively, through play, my dad taught me so many of life’s lessons, and that’s the power of what it means to be a dad. You can teach your kids just through goofing off. Kids need to learn from playing, using their imaginations, and even falling down. That’s what dads bring to the table.
So, I encourage you to play with your kids. Build forts together out of sofa cushions. Play Wiffleball. Make up your own game. The more you play with your kids, the more you will teach them about civility, competition, sportsmanship, and about yourself.
For my part, my dad inspired me to coach. I coach chess, outdoor and indoor soccer, and basketball. I have been a basketball coach to our oldest daughter, Bella, since she was old enough to hold a ball. We have a video of her first Christmas playing with a toy basketball hoop. It stood all of three feet tall, and she made her very first basket. Over six years later, when Bella made her first basket in competition, I was her coach. When the ball went in the hoop, I flipped out. I remember picking Bella up and carrying her down the court to play defense. I was so excited, and I didn’t care what anyone else thought.
It’s my job to tell my daughters how proud they make me. It’s my job to inspire them. It’s my job to teach them not to take life so seriously and how to be humble and kind. My dad taught me that with a Wiffle ball and a plastic bat when I was five.
You just read an excerpt from my book, “Daddy, where’s your vagina? What I learned as a stay-at-home dad.” If you would like to find out more about the book, check out the reviews at Amazon.com.
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written by auncfan, February 25, 2010
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written by Joeprah, February 25, 2010
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written by SeanC, February 25, 2010
Nice-
Sean
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written by Daddy Files, February 25, 2010
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written by Zerzix, February 26, 2010
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written by albert, February 28, 2010
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written by reibong, February 28, 2010
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written by Joeprah, February 28, 2010
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written by BikiniMom, February 28, 2010
To be honest my father never played much with us. He was from a different era and part of the world where people worked from very early on. They didn't have much of a childhood if any at all. But when he did play with us I remember how dog-tired he was. He would be literally falling asleep but he still tried his best. I remember playing horsey on his back and I remember him teaching me how to tell time on a broken alarm clock that somebody else had thrown away. The clear part of the clock that protected the hands had fallen off so he could manipulate them. He would set it so that if I moved the hands to "the right time" the alarm would go off. I was 7 and would squeal every single time!
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written by wiby05, February 28, 2010
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written by WishingStar2010, March 01, 2010
MEN is it important to attend to your children, especially, your daughters. Your behavior and expressed love toward them, helps them make good decisions about their lives. NOT SEXUALLY, EMOTIONAL OR VERBAL abuse. The world your children will grow up in has all those things. What they desire is for you to seen them and love them as they are personality and all.
Children are not punching bags when you cannot deal with others and the world. They love you with all their hearts and they want to love your pain away.
It helps build healthy self-confidence, and self love.
If you neglect your children, especially your daughters.......the abuse and destructive behavior will continue until someone in the generations to come stops.
Because of the attitude my dad had toward me. I made a lot of mistakes. I sought love in all men, trying to find the one man that would be like a father to tell me and let me know I was the greatest thing on earth. Instead I found abuse, disappointment and a very long past of mistakes.
*****Men, Love the Mother of your children......This too will build the foundation for children to express love in a healthy way. ***Both Men and Women have a habit of neglecting each other after a child is born. ******It takes two parents to raise a child.
Now I am 50 years old. I still desire to have a parent to call and talk too. I would love to brag about my partents, but there is none to be had. I have learned to deal with it. I know not having loving and caring parents hurt every area of my life. I to did the same thing to my children. The only difference is that I was the one who STOPPED.
I do pray and hope this behavior my parent taught me will not go into the next generations. I encourage my daughters to make a decision to be the best mom's then can be. To be better than me. Love and accept each child as they are. Each are different and each have a lot of pure love to give.
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written by Joeprah, March 01, 2010
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written by BikiniMom, March 01, 2010
Articles like this one are positive reinforcement that will help guide parents who may not have had anyone foster them as children or as parents themselves. The fact that a parent seeks such positive guidance out means that they've already won half the battle.
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