Single Parenting

Weak-End or Weekend? Tuesday, 26 May 2009 00:00 Written by iammomdad

Now I’ve done it. I’ve become a columnist at Dad Blogs. This means everything I say is now official and recorded for posterity.

I am feeling the pressure.

Kind of like the pressure I feel being a weekend dad.

If you are a father, if you are a parent, I’m sure you can relate.

Weekends are supposed to be the halcyon days of parenthood, long lazy afternoons stretching into the twilight hours full of board games, and stimulating conversation, and nature walks.

Things were easier when we were kids. Saturday meant staying in your pajamas until noon, parked in front of Saturday Morning Cartoons with a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Then you went out to play until dark without supervision. Weekends were a break, a respite from the grueling week of getting up early and eating dinner at a set time.

I imagine weekends have always been hell for parents.

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Walk Like a Man Wednesday, 20 May 2009 00:00 Written by iammomdad

Objective: Attain Manhood

Example: This Sunday I set out to do Man Things.

I was attempting to fill the void my father had left behind, as well as get around to the things he would normally have been doing for me. After he passed away suddenly this winter the children and I decamped from our old house, an eternal renovation project, and moved into my mother's. This alone has led to many hilarious and frustrating developments which are a story for another time.

So my house has sat unused (disused) and has begun to show extreme signs of abandonment. I decided the best remedy for that and for a long Sunday stretching out into wherever, was that I wear the pants in the family and gather up the kids for a day of Man Chores.

We started out the morning on the porch with hot chocolate and a pair of binoculars prepared to watch the local wildlife wake up. As it turns out we were the local wildlife...so wild that we scared anything feathered or four footed away. So mostly we just slurped marshmamellows and watched the leaves on trees close up. After fortifying ourselves with manly fried eggs and sausage we sauntered over to the homestead with a List.

Now I understand why men don't make lists...they are set ups for failure.

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Crap... I'm such a chick Thursday, 14 May 2009 00:00 Written by iammomdad

I need an intervention.

I feel like a poser, a fake, the butt end of a joke.
I am just mommin' it up all over the place.
I just can't think like a dad. I get defensive, and over-analytical, and self conscience. And it's not just a girl thing, Ciara's got bigger balls than I do, (That was a compliment) it's an attitude.

And please, please don't tell me I'm doing alright because it's just like a woman to need to hear that. I need stories from the trenches...I need real dads to tell me what they do.

It occurs to me that Dads are probably going through the same crisis. In the mom-driven industry of parenting they must constantly face criticism and second guess themselves. They must be looking for support and encouragement as they break new ground. So maybe I'm not so out of touch after all.


I see all these cool guys that have stopped trying to be Mr. Moms and Mannys and have embraced their role like...well like men

So fellas tell me please..what makes a dad? Give me a list of the Dad things you do...clue me in to the dad perspective.

Tell me how to parent like a man.

Please.

LESSON SIX: Relax Tuesday, 12 May 2009 00:00 Written by iammomdad

Objective

Enjoy the great outdoors.


Example

It is Sunday. I am exhausted. Being a dad is tiring. I am longing to do dishes and sit down at the computer to work. The demands of all this fun are getting to me.
The teenagers have slept outside in a tent and the little kids are bitter that they have not been allowed to join them. I forget to sympathize and ask what they want for breakfast. Grilled cheese. Cool, easy. I can do that.
I peek out the window and see all that sun and birdage and green green spring grass. I forget that I am a tired mom trying too hard. We make grilled cheese in an assembly line and take tall glasses of lemonade out into the yard. It is a beautiful day. The sun just keeps shining. We eat our sandwiches and then crawl into the tent where we polish off the leftover Easter candy together. I eat peanut butter cups and nerds and jelly beans and Hershey's kisses one after the other. I haven't had such a bad taste in my mouth since the memorable hangover days of my college years.
The wind is picking up and I am about to lose my mind if I don't at least clean the sticky puddles off of the living room floor. We put on music and all clean the house together so that I can relax and be a dad again.
Outside again, the tent blows over with Izzy in it and we abandon the idea of the campsite. Instead Fallon and Amanda haul the canoe off of the motor home and drag it into our cow pond. We paddle around the pond while Izzy cries in terror of man eating snapping turtles. The rain comes and we frolic for a few more minutes before being chased indoors again.
I am enjoying being a dad as only a mom can.
That evening as we watch James Bond and eat cookies for dinner Liam develops a fever. I return to my usual job of soothing and feeding and tucking in bed. Thank god the first weekend is over. I am not sure I can maintain this. How do dads do this fun thing...Is it my attitude? Am I approaching it like a woman...orchestrating everything...seeing even fun as a chore?

Next week I have a new goal... I will try relaxing while I relax.

Homework

Sit outside.

Extra Credit

Stay there and enjoy the sun while ignoring dirty dishes.