Society on Dads

The NDG Round Table Discussion Part II Monday, 19 April 2010 00:06 Written by Reservoir Dad

After a very positive story about the Most Mentally Sexy Competition by Australia’s national morning show TODAY, I was left feeling a little peeved with the promotional headline ‘House-trained Hubbies’ and wondered if I was being a little sensitive. I decided to raise it with The Northern Dads Group to see what they thought about it.

Joe: I think it was a load of sexist bullshit, to be honest.

Dan: Yep, a bit patronizing.

Joe: The reporters just didn’t seem to get it, as far as I’m concerned.

Jack: I thought the story itself was very well done…

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Dear Moms: Please Let Us Be Dads Monday, 01 February 2010 00:00 Written by steelydad

Not too long ago I published a post entitled, “So You Want to be a Stay-At-Home Dad?” as a reference guide to dads who are becoming stay-at-home dads (SAHD) either by choice or by circumstance. Feel free to forward it to dads that are currently, or are becoming, SAHDs.

However, in order to strike some balance between the sexes, I thought I’d provide what I consider some “suggestions” to moms who encounter our unique breed: the stay-at-home dad. (The irony of my unsolicited advice is not lost on me. See rule #4.)

Although the advice is developed from my own personal experiences as a SAHD, it certainly can apply to all types of dads.

Feel free to comment and keep the conversation going:

1. Treat us like your mom pals. No, I don’t mean share feminine hygiene tips with us. I mean put us on the same level with your other mom associates. Like it or not, we’re pretty much like you. We are parents who strive to be good parents to our children. Do we goof it from time to time? Absolutely, but in all honesty, we probably don’t goof it as often as you think. Dare I say it? We probably goof it as often as you.

Parenthood is man’s glass ceiling. Be kind and remember when you had to break through yours.

2. We're not all morons (dude on the right is an exception). Contrary to the stereotypes you may see on television and in commercials, we are capable, talented and sometimes exceptional parents. Some of us can use other kitchen appliances besides the microwave. Many of us actually know that kids need to eat when they’re hungry. Others know how to put a kid in a car seat. Yes, I know it’s crazy. I’m not saying I know how to do any of these things; I’m just saying there are apparently some stay-at-home dads that do. Give us some props when we rock it.

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Dads Need to Help Themselves Friday, 18 September 2009 09:11 Written by Daddy Files

Shawn over at Backpacking Dad had a really thought-provoking post dealing with immersed parents, feminism and one of his solutions to the problem of non-involved fathers. Among other things, he’s calling for women and mothers everywhere to stop any and all negative blogging concerning the parental shortcomings of their husbands. He feels it perpetuates the “Everybody Loves Raymond” stereotype that fathers are nothing but buffoons, who are too far removed from being an involved parent. But even if this stereotype is true, Shawn contends that mommy bloggers shouldn’t write about it because it just serves to tear away at the father’s already diminished parenting capabilities. Instead, he said it is up to feminists everywhere to assist failing fathers instead of tearing them down.

While I agree with a lot of the points he makes, I completely disagree with this particular theory.

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Dads Who Hate Their Babies? Monday, 08 June 2009 16:26 Written by Daddy Files

Apparently there's a string of books and articles that came out recently, like this one, in which dads "break the silence" and "shed light on the extended cover up" of postpartum depression for new fathers.

If you don't feel like reading through the entire article, here are the highlights (or lowlights depending on your position):

• 'The worst feeling was hatred,' he said. 'I distinctly remember standing on a balcony with her squawking in my arms and wondering what I would do if it wasn't against the law to hurl her off it.

• 'The reason we must be so appalled by parents who murder their infants is that it is so easy and even natural to do. Maternal love may be instinctive, but paternal love is learned behaviour.  'A month after Quinn was born, I would have felt only an obligatory sadness if she had been rolled over by a truck.

• 'New mums are better at parenting than new dads, but there's a reason why: they are programmed to mother,' he said.

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