The Stereotypes of Daddy Roles Has Got To Change Sunday, 05 April 2009 23:00 Written by mytwodaddies

For years and years it's been the Mom.  The mom stays home with the children.  She nurtures them, she is the affectionate one.  She is usually the one the child will go to when they need something. 

This is the key reason why most of the respect will go to the Mom AND don't get me wrong they DESERVE to be respected.  It's a hard job and takes a lot of patience.

But what about Dad?  Is it fair that the very same mom described above say phrases to their children like, "Just wait 'til your father gets home" or "Ask your father first, if it's ok with him, then I say ok".  What does this instill in the child?.  The Dad is the authoritarian?  He is the one to be most afraid of when things go wrong?  Who decided this role?

 What about that very same mom talking to other moms?  "He spends so much time at work" or "I can count the amount of times he's changed a diaper on one hand". 

At one point in history, you would see a dad and their children out to the park or at a restaurant and you would think?.."hmm divorced?..Visitation rights?, Widowed?"

 Some of the women, in more recent history, at the play ground with their children are most likely the women that are SAHMs.  The husband during the playground trips is most likely at work.  Maybe these moms just don't understand there is a shift or role change in the family unit  or maybe they are a little jealous about the involvment of a dad when they see him coming in with their children.  I myself feel a little bit of a target on my back when I walk into the playground with my child.  Weekends are less intimidating because you will see more dads there on the weekends.  However, my son and I got to the playground around 3:30 every day during the week.  The playground is packed full of moms and literally NO dads.

 But folks, times are changing.  The role of the father is changing at a faster rate than that of the strereotypes.  The family unit and the roles within the family are shifting into an equal partnership in raising children, supporting the household and running the home.  Children are seeing their dad as compassionate, affectionate, the nurture-er.

Dads are coming together and demanding respect.  Dads CAN change diapers, Dads know how to CARE for their children and nurture them.  The more the new generation dads speak out and become visible, the more we can change these old fashion stereotypes and create what is the reality in today's family unit.

 Once this is achieved, perhaps we can begin to create the new reality of non-traditional familes and how loving and effective those families can be in raising children.

 My respect goes to all of us Dads out there that are trying to break through the mold of what a dad used to be.

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written by ciara, April 06, 2009

that was a great post. i totally think those dads who are stepping into the mom roles deserve a lot of respect. it's not always easy especially when it was never the norm. and as for those moms who look at dads funny, i don't really like those moms. i don't like anyone who is judgmental really.

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written by Bernie, April 06, 2009

I believe that the role of the father as the authoritarian is primarily based in a biblical background. It is often taught that the man is the head of the house hold and the woman is to follow what the man says. As we as a society move away from this background with other influences of religions, politics, etc the times are changing.

Do I believe in this concept? Hell no!

I can’t agree more that as a man I feel the cold stare of the moms at the park. Why is here? Where is their mother? Or god forbid they give you look that you are some dirty pedo.

The days of the ‘Leave It To Beaver’ family are over, and yet here I work two jobs to support my SAHM mom….yeah, I am jealous.

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written by WeaselMomma, April 06, 2009

You SAHD's are ground breaking pioneers. Your small numbers are growing and with growth will break down the stereotypes. I'm always happy to see involved Dad's, They're Hot! Now Did you ever go get your badge?

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written by Joeprah, April 06, 2009

I am sorry I got to this post so late...man this is great stuff. I think some moms may feel a bit of jealousy/fear of those dads who they see at the playground. These dads are active parents and to be honest we offer something different than the moms do--we interact more with the kids. The moms stand around acting detached from their goofy toddlers but I just don't get it. Times are changing and we are breaking new ground which makes a lot of people reconsider what they think of as a 'normal' family and who can raise kids effectively. I am with you my friend.

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written by DaddyKV, April 07, 2009

I think the roll of the SAHD should be equal to the SAHM but I don't think all Dads should quit their job and be SAHD. In my family I am the secure and major bread winner. My wife still has to work to meet bills but she is also able to our daughter to work. Would I be a SAHD if I could, sure. But in our current situation its not possible. Is this giving into the man and being a fuddy duddy? I don't think. We just don't have a choice.

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written by mytwodaddies, April 07, 2009

My real point is, a Dad that must work or a dad that stays home to care for his children bost deserve respect because of the way our roles in the family have changed. Dads are more involved in the care for their children then they were back in my day. The times have changed but the stereotypes are lagging.
This blog is a great site to help become more visible, to enlighten and to become a better dad as well.

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written by MileHighDad, April 07, 2009

Me bad!
Oprah's link is [urlh]ttp://www.oprah.com/index I added a ; instead of :

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written by YesChildDad, April 07, 2009

This is a really great post. It's a challenge to change preconceived notions but we're all doing it. In our lifetimes we've seen the roles of women in the workplace redefined, the election of our first AfAm President and a host of other old style myths shattered. I believe that before long we will see the civil rights of all Americans validated. We are moving beyond the narrower confines that defined previous generations and, as stay at home fathers, we've put ourselves on the front lines of the cultural shift. But where else would one want to be?!
Peace and merriment,
Rod

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written by YesChildDad, April 07, 2009

This is a really great post. It's a challenge to change preconceived notions but we're all doing it. In our lifetimes we've seen the roles of women in the workplace redefined, the election of our first AfAm President and a host of other old style myths shattered. I believe that before long we will see the civil rights of all Americans validated. We are moving beyond the narrower confines that defined previous generations and, as stay at home fathers, we've put ourselves on the front lines of the cultural shift. But where else would one want to be?!
Peace and merriment,
Rod

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written by NYCity Mama, April 08, 2009

I love this post, which is why I will say it again on this website, it is why even as a SAHM, I couldn't relate AT ALL to Oprah's mommy show earlier this week. Because at least in my house, my husband is a big part of not only our children's life, but my life as well. This idea that we are "all alone" may be a reality to some woman, but it isn't mine...and I want to give praise where praise is due. Go Dads!

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