Could An Affair Actually Save A Marriage? Tuesday, 29 June 2010 00:00 Written by BikiniMom

With the rash of recent headlines regarding cheating celebrities such as Tiger Woods, Jesse James, David Boreanaz, and Mel Gibson one would think that the idea that catching your spouse wandering outside of the confines of your marriage means the demise of the relationship.  But does it really?

First of all getting caught cheating on your spouse in front of the entire world is not the same as John or Joesephina Q Public straying outside the confines of their marriage. If you are the only one to know then that will be your lesson alone. If you are caught that still isn’t the same as being a public figure whose income is dependent on the public’s perception of their private lives.

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Honey, I just got fired Thursday, 10 June 2010 13:31 Written by BikiniMom

Four words a spouse rarely ever wants to hear--"I just got fired."  I know that when I was fired in my early twenties before my ex-husband and I had any children it was actually a relief.  I didn’t really like the job itself, didn’t see a future for myself in the industry.  I absolutely hated my co-workers.  One of my bosses was a wonderful human being that I still remember with great fondness.  The other was the psycho-b*tch from hell.

One Friday afternoon I’d walked into my office manager’s office just to talk.  The next thing I quit the position.  The officer manager was a great guy. (I still remember his name, in fact.  Anyone who knows me knows what a distinction this is because I am terrible when it comes to names.)  He suggested that I take the weekend to think about it and said that if I wanted, I would still have a job come Monday morning, that I should just show up like nothing changed.

My ex-husband flipped out on me.  He raised his voice, called me names and ordered me to beg for my job back come Monday.  (Just one of the reasons he is now the EXhusband.)

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Facebook can get ugly Tuesday, 01 June 2010 11:23 Written by BikiniMom

A recent brush with ugliness that started with Facebook then spread like wildfire via google and other search engines has caused me to wonder what it is about instant access to information that causes Dr Jeckyl/Mr Hyde behavior in so many individuals.  These people are not just “dopey kids” who don’t know any better. These individuals are all ages, religious affiliations, socio-economic backgrounds, both genders and shockingly not strangers at we generally think, but could be people who were once considered friends and saddest of all members of our own families.

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Internet Dating Phobia Thursday, 27 May 2010 07:09 Written by BikiniMom

We buy cars, video games, jewelry, everything including the kitchen sink on Ebay.  Look for jobs on Monster.com.  We interact with total strangers without a second thought on various social networking sites.   We telecommute to work via Netmeeting and keep in touch with family and friends around the world via Skype.  We seek roommates on Craigslist.  Our children can’t do their school work anymore without utilizing internet search engines.  We listen to the radio podcasts, download TV episodes and most of the music we listen to via the internet. There isn’t a single facet of our lives that has not been enhanced or affected by the internet and yet there is still a large segment of the adult population that remains skittish when it comes to looking for a date on the internet .

This irony is quite puzzling in light of these facts.  What is everyone so afraid of?  Why does it seem that our entire society has so willingly embraced this technology when it comes to every other aspect of our lives but so many cling steadfastly to stigmas associated with online dating ?

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Coping Positively with an Aging Spouse Saturday, 22 May 2010 09:10 Written by BikiniMom

Our own mortality is something that we think about more and more as we enter our fourth decade of life but these thoughts are exponentially greater for those who have life partners that are much older.  By design this segment of the population has to cope with the thoughts of their beloved spouse’s mortality long before they face their own end of days.

Most 40-somethings have thoughts like “Why am I here?” and “Am I happy with my life so far?” or “What can I do to really impact the lives of others with my life in a meaningful way?”  But unless you are married to a loving partner that is beginning to show the physical and cognitive signs that they are much closer to the end then you, this concept may be difficult to grasp.  It is very frightening; the thought that we may likely not be afforded the time to grow old together.

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