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With our nation's birthday just over the horizon, many a newly formed family will be packing the car with their infant and a variety of legal and illegal fireworks and driving out of town on a classic family road trip. Whether a quick jaunt over the river and through the woods or a 'Griswold-esque' epic journey replete with stops at either of the competing World's Largest Chairs and meeting up with distant cave-dwelling third cousins, traveling with newly minted "cry-bags" doesn't have to be Excedrin Headache #37, especially when outfitted properly with the right gear, a sense of humor and a healthy supply of Xanax.
Naturally the basics of any car ride, whether minutes, hours, or days, should include the essential tools of any time out and about with an infant. You'll need the fully stocked diaper bag, with a change of clothes or two, diapers, wipes, acetylene torch, etc. You'll also need some snacks available for quick and easy delivery (we use these snack catchers that work very well) and a bottle, sippy cup, or small rodent rig complete with the ball bearing tube for the thirsty child. You'll also most likely need a decent installed infant car seat, preferably checked by someone in law enforcement or at least someone not legally blind. After you have these necessities, you can begin to delve into the realm of 'nice-to-haves' rather than 'need-to-survives.'
According to intergalactic regulations, children under the age of one generally have to ride rear-facing in their carseat, which means that for the majority of car trips they are staring at a headrest for hours on end. While yes, under the proper set of hallucinatory drugs this can be a mind-bending and ultimately enlightening experience, for most infants this means staring at a woven Toyota symbol for hours which will ultimately brainwash them against American brands and cause the eventual abandonment of Detroit decades down the line (assuming anyone is left there anyway). Instead, we cover the headrest with this animated mirror that allows our daughter to admire the good looks she inherited from her parents, while simultaneously allowing us to see the various hand gestures she is flipping us after being in the car for so long. This particular mirror also has a remote and plays songs and lights up, which has in the past placated her for a extra few minutes while I have demonstrated visually to the fine gentleman who cut me off how a face-to-face encounter might unfold.
For longer car trips, we have resorted to the use of a portable DVD player to numb our daughter's mind with what amounts to child's LSD: Baby Einstein. There are a wide variety of these on the market, from ridiculously expensive to suspiciously cheap. Make sure you get one that has some method of attaching the player to the back of a seat so that it's easily viewable from the car seat. The best DVD players have remote controls, a decent battery and an adapter you can plug into a lighter to maintain a constant stream of Baby Meatloaf into your child's brain to divert attention from the fact that they are essentially strapped into a chair riding backwards at 80 mph for hours at a time while you sit up front, munching on Andy Capp fries and rocking out to Freebird.
In addition to, or instead of, the DVD player you could invest in a few good childrens CD's (or MP3s, or whatever the kids listen to these days) that are often compilations of classic campfire songs and/or Norwegian folk melodies, sung by children and/or Benedictine monks in a way that is pleasing to the infant ear. While a lucky few parents may be able to sneak some T-Pain into the repertoire, the rest will most likely end up with a few of our "favorites" - Playdate Fun (Baby Einstein), Peter Paul and Mommy, and Metal Massacre XIII. We've found that these tunes, especially the Baby Einstein one, has a a very nice calming effect on our daughter (while having a very opposite effect on the driver.)
It's always a good idea to have a variety of toys on hand for the traveling child to play with during the ride. The tricky part is that they are immobile, will toss said toys aside with seemingly reckless abandon, and then scream about their loss for hours on end. We've tried to combat this in the past with toys that attach to the car seat itself (usually through plastic rings) or with a toy tether, which allows you to attach almost any toy to the car seat. Alternatively, you could either super-glue or duct tape things to your infant's hands, but this can be messy, unhealthy, and will probably raise the ire of the trooper who will already be upset that you continually referred to him as 'Ponch.'
Traveling with young infants can try even the most patient of souls, and can drive folks like me that teeter on the edge of insanity madly screaming over the brink. But with the aforementioned tools and the knowledge that the threat of 'I'll turn this car around' is probably a welcome suggestion to the child harnessed in the back seat rather than an effective deterrent, your family can enjoy at the very least a tolerable journey, and at best a hand-holding, Kumbaya-singing, glowing together-fest filled with unbridled joy and happiness.
But hey, no promises.
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written by peteej, July 01, 2009
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written by pjmullen, July 01, 2009
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written by eyesofbabes, July 01, 2009
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written by mekeliki, July 01, 2009
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written by mwfrantz, July 01, 2009
@eyesofbabes and @mekeliki - The DVD player is our ace in the hole on these trips - we stock up at the local library with DVDs and keep it rolling when our daughter gets fussy. Good plan on the cleaning supplies too - kids have an amazing way to create messes out of thin air.
@peteej - Cult? Vagrant Idol? Echoes of Cries? AWESOME.
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written by otterthomas, July 02, 2009
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