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Newly minted parents, fresh from the exhausting experience of actually getting their child ejected by hook, crook or forceps from “Mommy’s water bag,” are immediately inundated with what becomes a staple of child-rearing: decision-making. Decisions that have escalated from ones that affect you or your spouse (where to dine, how many hostages to take, etc.) to ones that will have profound affects on the entire life of another human being. This can be overwhelming, especially to people that just witnessed "that" inconceivably come out of "there," despite logic dictating that there's no way "it" could fit through "that thing."
One of the larger and surprisingly controversial decisions that comes up rather quickly in a parent’s career (usually in the hospital) is whether you want to be a “binky advocate” or a “dummy denier,” when it comes to the subject of pacifier
Pacifiers, in some form, have most likely been around for centuries, possibly millennia. Despite no actual evidence, it is widely assumed that early "cave-babies" soothed their rough temperament by most likely sucking on the tusk of a slumbering wooly mammoth. By the 1600s, “rag bags” were all the rage, which involved wrapping a cloth around some sort of food, whether it be bread, fish, or those turkey legs you can get at the Renaissance festival and then letting babies gum the concoction. Pacifiers as we know them (with the shield, nub and handle) evolved from hard rubber teething rings and came into vogue around the beginning of the 20th century, becoming a parenting staple once manufacturers figured out that the lead filled ones were “not the best.”
So what’s the beef against the humble nook? The list is long and varied. The original objections mostly centered around dental health, with claims that prolonged use would cause teeth to grow in abnormal ways, possibly leading to classic British teeth misshapenness and subsequent dry wit. Bolstering these claims was the habit of some folks to dip their dummies in sugar or honey and then let their kid go to town, with predictable, teeth-rotting results. (As an aside, while it may seem like a good idea to turn a pacifier into an everlasting Gobstopper, it is not.) Studies have shown though (idiotic dummy dippers aside) that there isn’t much to worry about dentally until permanent teeth make their appearance, and by then your child will hopefully be more into meeting Cap'n Crunch in the breakfast nook then slobbering all over the rubbery one.
Other attacks leveled at our kind, rubbery friend is the dreaded “nipple-confusion",” which for guys sounds like a delightful occurrence but for breastfeeding moms can be a nightmare. Basically the issue is that our newborn, already being inundated by trying to grasp the realities of life outside the womb, can have as much difficulty differentiating between mom’s boob and a pacifier (or bottle) as we as adults struggle with Mary Kate and Ashley. To this end, it’s generally recommended to try and avoid extended “binkitude” until a firm pattern of breastfeeding is in place, lest your kid one day embarrass themselves in a high school anatomy class.
There is, in fact, a medical plus side to binky use - those crazy folks over at the AAP recently recommended the use of pacifiers during naps and night-time as some studies have shown a decrease in SIDS for kids that take their nooks to bed with them. Whether you buy into this or not, it at least should provide some comfort to parents like us that tried to surreptitiously pilfer our daughter’s pacifier after she fell asleep (and anything else she snuck in there – booze, her Nintendo DS
I'd also rather have my daughter have the pacy in her mouth all day than her thumb. While yes, thumbs are permanently attached sucking devices that require little maintenance and possess extreme portability, it's very difficult to take a thumb away (at least in this country) when the time comes to break children of the habit. At least with a binky (with convenient handle) I can spirit it away one day, and hopefully my daughter will not realize the replacing powers an opposable digit can offer a suddenly nook-less infant.
For us, though, there's just simply one reason that we use the pacifier. She loves it! It helps her sleep, it calms her when she falls during one of our frequent "baby toss competitions" (for height and distance) and overall it just does a great job of, well, pacifying her, and it pretty much always has. We generally put three or four in the crib with her at night, because when she wakes up angry, she usually starts letting them fly, much to our chagrin but to the delight of the cats who take turns snagging them out of midair, dolphin style. It's fun to watch.
And honestly though, I think the real reason behind the anti-pacifier lobby is the fear that your kid will become so attached to his or her rubbery friend that they'll head off to college with it firmly planted in their mouth. The thought of trying to break a child of such a daily habit gives some folks 'the willies,' and they rationalize it with the aforementioned reasons. From my standpoint though, breaking childhood habits is part of the game - whether it be weaning off the bottle, the breast, sleeping out of the parent's bedroom, or dropping that nasty 'baby-chaw' addiction, there will always be some behavior that will eventually need correcting. Don't deny your child's potential oral nirvana over this irrational fear!
Really, all I am saying, is give binks a chance!
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written by peteej, July 07, 2009
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written by Daddy Files, July 07, 2009
But lo and behold, I won that argument and we used the pacifier. And it was great. And maybe I'm just a lucky bastard, but my son willingly gave it up without a fight right around 6 months old and he hasn't used one since.
The "DON'T USE A PACIFIER AT NO MATTER WHAT" argument is just to scare neurotic, first-time parents. Usually moms.
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written by mekeliki, July 07, 2009
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written by pjmullen, July 07, 2009
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written by Surfer Jay, July 07, 2009
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written by whatnowdad, July 08, 2009
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written by WeaselMomma, July 08, 2009
We used the on all of our children that would take them. Two of my kids insisted on the thumb. The thumb has cost us thousands in orthodontic care. I wish I would forced the substitution.
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written by Spiny Norman, July 08, 2009
My daughter never cared for hers. I bought her a set of four, an Eagles, a Phillies, a Flyers, and a 76ers. She took the Eagles one for about a day. Never looked back.
Parents who get all fundamentalist about this issue are usually bowing to some external pressure. We would have let ours use it...she just wasn't interested.
Now that she is 4, all her dolls need one. Don't ask me why...
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written by New Dad, July 10, 2009
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written by SurprisedMom, July 12, 2009
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written by mwfrantz, July 12, 2009
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